so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
