Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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