I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
