you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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