You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
