Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Randomize
