Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
