:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
