yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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