69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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