I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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