it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
