Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Everything about him screamed your future.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
