I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
