You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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