I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
