So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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