If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
