Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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