A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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