Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
