escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
