Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Randomize
