The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
