He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
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