dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Tornado booty call.. dedication
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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