okay pat passed out under dana's car
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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