Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
