glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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