I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
