ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
