So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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