Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
