Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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