Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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