a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
he fucked my hip out of place.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize
