Plan B is the new Plan A
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Randomize
