I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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