Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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