what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Text me some of your sweat
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
