I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Come share oat with me in your robe
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
