I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize