Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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