i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Randomize
