Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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