I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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