My first STD was from a foam party
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
