I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
