my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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