Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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