I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I believe in your delicious
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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