Fine. I'll sleep in my office
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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